Why Parent Peacefully?
Research has shown that positive parenting is the single most important element in building a strong foundation for a child's development. Positive parenting emphasizes supportive and caring relationships between parents and their children.
Parents who adopt this approach are looking for ways to make the childhood experience an exceptionally enjoyable and supportive one while finding situations to instruct rather than just discipline whenever possible.
Some key aspects of peaceful parenting include:
- Having realistic expectations
- Encouraging positive behavior
- Creating a safe and engaging environment for our children
- Gentle Discipline
- Creating a positive learning environment
- Playful parenting
There is a school of thought that if you're not firm with children they won't learn right from wrong because they won't take you seriously when you seek to correct them. Peaceful parenting incorporates firmness but with a loving, gentle, approach. When instructions are given, motivate your child to comply with love. It sounds simple, but consciously think about the request and ensure the language and emotion you demonstrate is coming from a place of love. Then if the child does not comply be firm in your response. That is consistency, and that is managing your child's expectations in a way that is loving and intelligent.For example, if your child was supposed to stop playing a game at a certain time and they refuse to honor that time restriction, it would be wise to turn off the game or remove the item that the child is playing with. That would be a firm response. Be punctual. Do what you say you're going to do but ensure that it is positive behavior that at all times creates a sense of safety and love for your child.
It's no surprise that positive parenting means never telling a child he is bad. That's hardly positive and can damage a child's self-esteem. Motivate your child to behave in a positive way by stressing that your love for her is unconditional no matter what she does. Motivate through love, not fear.
Adults and children tend to crave attention. The same is true for your child. Your positive attention and reinforcement help to build self-esteem in your child. In your child's life, your attention can mean the most. So when your child can't seem to get enough of your time, think about the quality of time you are giving him. Children know when your attention is sincere. Some specialists believe children tend to misbehave when they aren't receiving the full attention of parents.
Empower your children by acknowledging their abilities to assume responsibilities and make decisions. Small children can help clear the table, and older children can fold clothing and give you advice on recipes.
Try not to step in to do activities that your children can do for themselves and complete with pride of accomplishment. It may be more work for you in the long run, but it will help your child to feel valued and respected by the members of his family.
Help your kids to learn how to make good decisions and choose appropriate behaviors through the experience of consequences. If you have to remind your child each day to pick their lunch up before going to school, don't remind them one day. The experience and inconvenience of having to arrange to get a lunch will be a lesson that your child won't soon forget. The discomfort of eating lunch late or involving the school in contacting you can be a far more effective teaching moment than repeated morning reprimands as your child leaves for school in the morning.
Peaceful parenting isn't always easy, but it is so rewarding to know you are raising children who will feel loved and respected and will have the confidence and self-esteem to be responsible, caring family and community members.
Raising Happy, Peaceful Kids